"I Will [Loan] You a New Life" and other songs for the 90's I shamelessly love

Songs from the 90's, mostly from the late 90's (and who are we kidding, the early 2000's), that I shamelessly love, altered to change their meaning.

• "I Will [Loan] You a New Life" by Everclear - With this economy, it's just not in the cards.


• "[Shave] Tonight" by Eagle Eye Cherry - Alright, that one was a little cheap... but the stubble has got to go!


• "[Kinda] Wanna Be With You" by Hootie and the Blowfish - Meh... you're okay...


• "Lightning [Crashes but is in no way related to an abortion]" by Live - The exact opposite of the actual song.


• "Don't Look Back in [Haste, unless you want to turn into Salt]" by Oasis - Biblical Oasis. That's a great name for a band.


• "Semi-Charmed [Wife]" by Third Eye Blind - LIKE THE SHOW BEWITCHED!


• "Everything [Lou] Want" by Vertical Horizon - Lou want everything... Lou a cave man...

I'm extremely proud of that last one.